Memorable Quotes and quotations from Steven WrightSteven Wright US comedian and actor (1955 - )Steven Wright - - My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. Steven Wright - - Black holes are where God divided by zero. Steven Wright - - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. Steven Wright - - Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect. Steven Wright - - Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright - - Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Steven Wright - - Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second. Steven Wright - - If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Steven Wright - - Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright - - I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. Steven Wright - Standup Comedy Routine - I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious! Steven Wright - - If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? Steven Wright - Standup Comedy Routine - I just bought a microwave fireplace. You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes. Steven Wright - I Have a Pony - My girlfriend sleeps in a queen-sized bed and I sleep in a court jester-sized bed. Steven Wright - - Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture. Steven Wright - - If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? Steven Wright - - If God dropped acid, would he see people? Steven Wright - - I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over it. Steven Wright - - Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Steven Wright - - Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. Steven Wright - - When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. Steven Wright - - I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world. Steven Wright - - If God dropped acid, would he see people? Steven Wright - - Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Steven Wright - - Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. Steven Wright - - If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Steven Wright - Standup Comedy Routine - I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. Steven Wright - - They say the sun never sets over the British Empire, but it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. |
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