Quotes and Quotations

Memorable Quotes and quotations from Fred Allen

Fred Allen US radio comedian (1894 - 1956)


Fred Allen -
- Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

Fred Allen -
- Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Fred Allen -
- Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

Fred Allen - in a letter to Groucho Marx, 1953
- I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Fred Allen -
- Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Fred Allen -
- Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Fred Allen -
- My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.

Fred Allen -
- A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen -
- A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen -
- My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

Fred Allen -
- Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Fred Allen -
- I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Fred Allen -
- Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Fred Allen -
- An income tax form is like a laundry list -- either way you lose your shirt.

Fred Allen -
- A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen -
- During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

Fred Allen -
- The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

Fred Allen -
- Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

Fred Allen -
- Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Fred Allen -
- Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen -
- California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.

Fred Allen -
- [Television is] the triumph of machine over people.

Fred Allen -
- Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Fred Allen -
- Do we really deserve top billing?